Posts Tagged ‘alone’

Rider…

Posted: May 27, 2011 in pictorial, thoughts, warriror
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for : http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/05/short-story-slam-week-2.html

Four hooves a leather strap and seat to rest upon

Horizon on my gaze and packed for a long season

March I with this horse as it be a part of me

Sleep under the moon with grass as our bedspread

Lonely it may seem but I prefer to be called alone

Life has taken its toll and so today we ride into the unknown

Sun comes up with a hue of red on rise

Skin burns by noon it’s worth it for twilight scenes

Creator is merciful for he leaves us with waterholes

Shades from trees and shrubs with berries

Life couldn’t be simpler yet I gaze to the horizon and wonder

After all that has been and seen I find myself at ease to be a horse rider

Reveries…

Posted: December 7, 2010 in deep notions, helpless, insane, random, thoughts
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photo

Puffing on and exhaling smoke
looking out the window on a dark hour
yellow glow on black streets and a cold breeze
no reason why face has a smile as if it heard a joke

no one walks this hour lonely few drive past
maybe sum1 else notices this yellow glow too
going to west is the moon and east ready for another rise
even the crows asleep like all humans and stars falling fast

alone almost in thoughts of those who are and were
perceptions so fascinating  the night seems to glow of memories
many such nights have been seen but this time its in pasts reflections
words cant point to one person its just pondering of worldly revolutions i bear

expressions have formed logistics too cause they really move
transporting emotions to drive the gray matter in past present mode
seriously even logic’s like these make sense now for brain process alone better
scary ride this time for i fear when it will all stop and would need help to give it a tow.

He was lying down with his uniform half tucked in and loose shoe laces with one foot on  the last long row seats head rest and playing with his tie and starring at the roof of the bus.
there was no one else in the bus except for the driver at his seat and the bus conductor at the exit door. seemed like he was relaxing for he knew it was a long way home and no one to talk too.
what must be going through this kids mind at that time, was he remembering the fun he had in school or stuff he did in class or thinking over the home work he needs to complete before he can go play or just thinking how sad it is to be alone or may be just hoping the tuition teacher lets him off early so he could catchup on the cartoon channel.
one could never know what a kid could be thinking for theres nothing serious happening there in those Grey cells but still loads of things happening for him like : home work, tuition’s, sports, video games, cartoons, toys, girls, picnic, food etc… And these are the very things which make LIFE for us even after we grow up but just that we dont have the time any more to enjoy them for we busy making money to buy them… thats the biggest Irony of Life too busy to enjoy what we buy for pleasure.
i bought a new car stereo with the works but i am always busy on the handsfree to blast off and enjoy Ozzy scream on loud but every once in a while i do that but never satisfied.
The kid on the bus was doing nothing but enjoying even though all alone, i mean when i am alone i am either penning down my thoughts or updating my project work schedules or just thinking how i could get more floor space index created to make more money  😀

almost a month back i just set out on a 1800km drive with a buddy and a driver, all we did for 3 days straight is NOTHING most of the time we spent sitting behind and look out the window and since we were on far off highways the reception was poor hence almost no calls, stopping in between to eat and drink, that was just doing nothing Yet my mind was working, but this kid had nothing to think just enjoy each thought cause none of his actions had any immediate consequences…..
I WANA GO BACK TO BEING A KID AGAIN

Lost

Posted: August 26, 2010 in thoughts
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We all have lost our ways while looking for a house, office, dinner etc…. we get all hyped cause we don’t know which way to go and people around keep giving directions which don’t take you to your destination.

When sitting alone we give our thoughts the freedom to get lost into to the web of events from the past. I don’t know how many of you have completely lived alone but I had once and I was all alone on my own for days with only the Tiffin boy getting me food and the morning trip 1km walk to the chaiwala and buying ciggis with having to say only Ek cutting dena…. Do packet wills dena… and then on only me myself and my other self.

Sitting out on a balcony and looking to a hill where occasionally a bird fly’s by and the shrubs and small trees sway to the wind. The whole housing complex would go dead by 11am and it would be peacefully lonely for a long time. You sit there with the breeze in your hair and stories of the past in your head. Pondering upon the What Ifs and Will do that’s … you pass each hour in minutes and realize that people are heading back home and it fills with the sounds of the scooters and cars into the parking lots and you head back to the couch but end up starring at the mirror and talking to your self. Being lost is such a wonderful feeling you make the time stop and freeze each pane of your memory till you have brought it back to life with your eyes closed making a little movie of your own.

Soon the days get longer and being lost turns into self talking with using difference tones to each emotion making you realize that you need to step out meet people or you would lose yourself somewhere deep down inside…. Step out, interact, laugh without cause, drink, smoke, friends give you details of their new ventures and then the inevitable way back home all alone… some how the journey back is always longer.

Now you fear the fact you gona be alone and all by your own thoughts… suddenly being lost comes true for you cant find your way out and the directions you getting are all wrong it leads you to nowhere….. you are LOST in your own web of thoughts. being lost is not an option

left alone

Solitude….

Posted: August 11, 2010 in deep notions, universe
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we seek peace… but its there within us. even when your stuck in traffic with ur windows rolled up listening to ur fav songs all alone you can have that peace the solitude u need. problem is we dont look at things the way they should be looked upon… i recently started doing that.. when stuck in traffic which is often here in mumbai .. i lookup to the sky or the surroundings… its not clean arround mostly but then its easy to find that solitude in the confines of me own car in the middle of the road with millions arround me.. its me castle me place of solace… or even when in a party with that loud music arround and zillions of ppl in that small place crowding beyond a breath of fresh air… just stare at those lights above and its only u and that red/blue/green light as if its shining only on to u thts a moment of peace… why do we often fail to see or feel that peace or solace is superficial all u want to feel is special that someone out there in this world loves you, if u have that feeling rest all falls in place… iam loved, iam in somes thoughts always, iam cared for, iam whispered in somes mind if you have this peace solitude dissolved completely.. what u have here is love which brings the rest to become futile. but in order to feel loved u need to be in solitude to bring that inner mind ur subconscious into thinking mode and no great meditation or mantras or yoga is needed just converse with ur ownself….