Archive for May, 2012

Fight off my demons

Posted: May 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

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I am in a constant state of war
The stuff that churns my wheels is burning in hells fire
even though beautiful people surround me i cant be at peace

This rage is driving me wicked
It use to be about them and now its just I
I am not selfish but lately i havent even been Me

Fear is adding spirits to the fog
Ghosts of the pasts havent even left yet
Dark thoughts have stricken me and my actions are confused

I swear i am not a crusader
I cant fight this off easy
I wish to be Me when it was we

Stuck in a moment

Posted: May 26, 2012 in beloved, Romance

You just dont string chords you play an orchestra
Symphonies and operas are created
And thats just your smile

Sunshine warmth
Blooming orchids and blue skies
And thats just when you hold my hands

Ocean waves on a clear summer afternoon
warm sand shores on a cold night
And thats me in your arms

The world in your eyes want it to be mine
Time pause forever i dont mind
Moments spent were divine.

We cant know everything, actually we will never know nothing.
And to know that we cant know everything is wisdom (leo tolstoy)
The only thing we can know is what we want. A child wants to grow and have fun it doesnt understand good or bad it just knows what it wants and what makes it smile.
A sadhu wants to attain inner peace to be one with this world, which i think means death without leaving bad memories or noncompleted deeds.
Rest of us want a lot but mostly all want love.
I dont really understand how can one reach higher state of consiousness when the seeker is wanting it in the first place. If someone doesnt want anything i mean nothing not even inner peace or whatever that is, would truly be free. We all are bound by our wants and needs nothing wrong cause we are animals after all.
i want to know everything that there can be known but thats unachievable and i am sure you agree, if thats true than i cant achieve the higher state for if i dont know what all surrounds me and affects me how am i to rid myself of it.
Personaly i believe the ones we call crazy or mad are the people who have understood more than us normal people and hence they have lost it or got to the higher state.
The most controversial thing is… hindu vedas start with a simple statement ” jagath mithya” meaning everything is an illusion and hence all that we know is false. Like the colors we see actually dont exist they are just given colors by our brain for different shades of black to make it easier for us to differentiate. If it all starts by being false by the color itself then rest is self explanatory.
I am not saying to find the higher state and stuff is wrong or hokus.pokus but that we need to have a control on our wants or to get to state of peace we need to not want anything not even want inner peace, but thats never gona happen you see. So one should achieve all that one wants and then you might truly achieve an unwanting stage and be at peace…but then again that will never happen we humans keep wanting more and more.
Then my or anyone elses chase to keep getting at our wants is the journey to getting to inner peace like a meditators meditation is to his.
What our are wants, they ae desires for money, materials and to be loved, so we are seeking things to have all this stuff but for whom for the ones we love and to get love in return. Love drives us all, so if i get the ideal love have i achieved nirvana… If thats sounds true what are these sadhus, monks etc..looking for in solitude for in their state of solace they are with no one, then maybe to rid ones self of all forms of love is to get the ultimate inner peace… But what if one falls in love with the idea of solitude then again you are wanting something and the whole journey to higher state is wasted.
In this whole argument all are defeated as either ways we all are wanting something..even love for god or devotion to god is wanting for thy holiness blessings or something.
This wiserskydiver feels to completly love someone without any expectations or questions is to get the higher state.. And that again is unachievable for at some point you gona be wanting to be loved back, but those few moments when you unquestioningly loving someone is yojr higher state, when you are truly happy just being with someone for no reason or wants..that is true nirvana.

i when was we

Posted: May 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

I am not afraid to die

But I found a reason to be alive

Hold my hands and this heart beats

 

I wasn’t Me

But I found a reason and it was we

Hug me tight and deep I breathe

 

I had no identity

But I found a reason to be known

Smile for me and I am a rockstar

 

I am not I

cause you left and I was dead

Words are all I have to belive