Archive for August, 2010

Lost

Posted: August 26, 2010 in thoughts
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We all have lost our ways while looking for a house, office, dinner etc…. we get all hyped cause we don’t know which way to go and people around keep giving directions which don’t take you to your destination.

When sitting alone we give our thoughts the freedom to get lost into to the web of events from the past. I don’t know how many of you have completely lived alone but I had once and I was all alone on my own for days with only the Tiffin boy getting me food and the morning trip 1km walk to the chaiwala and buying ciggis with having to say only Ek cutting dena…. Do packet wills dena… and then on only me myself and my other self.

Sitting out on a balcony and looking to a hill where occasionally a bird fly’s by and the shrubs and small trees sway to the wind. The whole housing complex would go dead by 11am and it would be peacefully lonely for a long time. You sit there with the breeze in your hair and stories of the past in your head. Pondering upon the What Ifs and Will do that’s … you pass each hour in minutes and realize that people are heading back home and it fills with the sounds of the scooters and cars into the parking lots and you head back to the couch but end up starring at the mirror and talking to your self. Being lost is such a wonderful feeling you make the time stop and freeze each pane of your memory till you have brought it back to life with your eyes closed making a little movie of your own.

Soon the days get longer and being lost turns into self talking with using difference tones to each emotion making you realize that you need to step out meet people or you would lose yourself somewhere deep down inside…. Step out, interact, laugh without cause, drink, smoke, friends give you details of their new ventures and then the inevitable way back home all alone… some how the journey back is always longer.

Now you fear the fact you gona be alone and all by your own thoughts… suddenly being lost comes true for you cant find your way out and the directions you getting are all wrong it leads you to nowhere….. you are LOST in your own web of thoughts. being lost is not an option

left alone

what pushes life….

Posted: August 25, 2010 in thoughts
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After gym was smoking up in my window looking down on the road saw a couple walking,  very cute girl and her husband I guess, the girl was obviously in a hurry to reach office and guy was relaxed … he had loads of white hair for his age and was very thin while she was chubby… he looked as if he got out a long ailment.
The girl had a typical happy face but there were streaks of frustration, grief and tiredness on her face, she must have been really beautiful looking once and must have taken good care of her appearance once …which she dint do so now I guess…. They paused near my car and she placed her plastic bag on the bonnet to close the lid of her Tiffin box properly and they kept talking to each other while her eye was on the Bus coming from the other direction…….
Made me think what pushes life ….. most of us are going through pain of all sorts like ill family member, poverty, Dick of an boss or missing promotions every FY ending or breakups from the loved one but we manage to go on live our lives as if its our duty to stay alive continue this chain of physical form and hope for salvation in this life or next or is it just that we have strong hearts which move on…. Beggar children on the signal are the finest examples they laugh and have fun even the hot sun or pouring rain having no worries of their future, have noticed the municipal sweeper who brushes our streets everyday they see the most dirties things in life yet they would smile at you if he’s a regular on your street and say “ Kai se ho Saheb” he does that without remorse that I am one of the people making his job dirtier or difficult everyday…..
Life pushes them all ….. how why what… it pushes everyone…….

how far…

Posted: August 25, 2010 in Romance, thoughts

how far is too far or how bizzare…. We say we plead we even bend down on our knees,

let me say how far is too far…. Say it right or dont say it… If u dont say it how cld u not do it….

If we say it … Why did u say it now… Or why did u say it this way… Cause the wind has already blow away….

Let me say it how far is too far or how bizzare…. Open that mind and all u say is what if…

Mind me open that door cause sometimes u in the way… If i ajar…. finger stuck in the way u say why i dint say it bfr we crossed apar…..
We dont try and say it… Why dint u slip those words apart cld hv read them afar…… Let me say it how far is too far.

effects

Posted: August 25, 2010 in pictorial
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these are pics that i took from a phone cam or digital cam and added effects to it…. my try at photographic art

hold on to…

Posted: August 23, 2010 in morning glory, Romance

Just give me something to hold onto
Make me a person who knows you
Just give me something to hold onto
Give me the wisdom to love you

I am human too I have memories like you
Having seen you angel its not possible now
To hold onto my thoughts for you
Give me a reason to not think of you
Say those words only if you have to

Just give me something to hold onto
Make me a person who knows you
Just give me something to hold onto
Give me the wisdom to love you

In my dreams I am living a life sureal
I will keep my wisdom afresh
I have been living in my flesh
This love has got not celing
I know I am beliving

Give me something to hold onto
let your eyes show me where I am
Lonely or cuddled in your gaze
Just give me something to hold onto
Give me the wisdom to love you

shes not yet opened her eyes….

Posted: August 23, 2010 in Romance

i have been in her arms
in the day and in the night
felt was i blessed to deserve this charm
see her face when shes sleeping like an angel
smile so beautiful that the rising sun makes no light
cause she has not yet opened her eyes
cloudy is the wind today for it has rained
it shall vanish when she blinks her eyes

the day starts better when she says ” u woke-up already”
wishing this moment to stick somewhere in the tides of space
wanting more of this strange morning to last like a birds flight
gliding slowly high up in the warm winds as the softness of her grace

smile that makes my day like a light on the darkside of my night
always knowing will be by my side in strength and love
sadness and blunt times holding me in her sweet sight
never letting those eyes waver around but pointing to the confident in me
having all these doubts cause she has not yet opened her eyes

kiss from a rose

Posted: August 22, 2010 in Romance
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Theres  only so much a man can say

Theres  only so much a man do

Now that your rose is in bloom

A light hits the gloom on a gray

Amazing song by Seal comparing a rose resting on a grave to her visit

Down and out nothing more to say burned down by the fires of his ambitions

Holding tight to the hope that someday she will be there

Even if not when he sits by the door hoping for light to shine on

Atleast on his grave she will pay a visit and his soul will be set into a bloom

Feeling her heart close to his as he takes the road to the otherside

It would have been great to meet her on the day when the last breath left his heart

His heart  to stray hoping for a miracle to get more of her to feel strange

Like a light hits the gloom on a gray.

foolosophy….

Posted: August 21, 2010 in Romance, thoughts
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words that cant be said are said

things we not normally do are done

cant wait for a best bus but we wait for hours barefoot on road thoughts that are alien are written like biblical gospels

places we go to every day seem heavenly there after

hell so adored seems like a fantasy church we never visited needs to be seen often

make sense here or forever remain unloved 🙂

say things which will have no meaning for there can be none derived

wait for an answer that was not written but felt in those eyes

smiles which form shapes of rainbows glitter on a full moon

make sense here or forever remain unloved

cause only a fool understands these moments and a wise makes sense of these.